A Cursed Monkey
by i heart diabetics
Summary: this is a story for A Cursed Monkey, may he rest in peace. I decieded that I will update it every year.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so I meant to post this on Friday, but I got in trouble and was unable to. Sorry

A Cursed Monkey

This story is for the anniversary of the death of A Cursed Monkey. I read his stories shortly before his death and was amazed by the writing. It was brilliant. When he passed away, I cried. The world had lost a brilliant person who brought amazing stories and so many other things, I'm sure. I never met him, only read his stories, but I cried as if I had lost my best friend. The world is full of horrible things and people, but it was one of the best people the world had that lost their life. I am ranting about it, aren't I? I wish I could say that he wouldn't want moping or being sad. That he would want us to remember good times when everything was okay, but again, I didn't know him, so I really don't know what he would want. I hope some of his family members read this and think I made A Cursed Monkey a good story, but I don't think it will be that great. It will be nothing compared to his stories. Today, at school, I wore a black flower with lace on it to remember him during the whole day.

Rest in peace, A Cursed Monkey.

One year. It's been one year since the death of my teammate, my friend, my love. Beastboy. As I stand in front of his grave, I can't help but wonder again it there was anything I could have done to stop it. Stop Slade from pulling the trigger. Pulling the trigger of the gun that killed Beastboy. I should have been able to create a shield around him, but I was unconscious. Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire were battening their own enemies. Robin says there was nothing I could have done, but I still feel responsible. I could have done something, but I had lost my focus for a second and got knocked out. He's dead because of it. I had woken up two days later, the day before the funeral, and Robin, being the one who knew me best, told me. It was then, I realized that I loved him. I freaked out and shut myself in my room for days, only coming out for the funeral. We all placed a special item on the gravestone that we thought he would like.

I crying really hard and I feel like I just can't breathe. I fall to me knees, sobbing and put my head on his name. I usually was good at keeping emotions at bay, but now, they came flooding to the surface. Mainly, Sad, but a darker version of Love came too. Love had become dark after Beastboy's death. She knew that nothing like the feelings we'd had for Beastboy would ever come again. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't see last the tears falling from my eyes. I passed out.

"Raven, Rae. Look at me." I had to be dreaming. There was no way this was real. Either I was dreaming or I was dead. Beastboy was standing in front of me. I shook my head.

"No, no. This is fake. This isn't real. This can't be real. Your-your dead. I can't be seeing you. This is fake. It's a hallucination or a dream."

"Exactly. It's a dream. I am gone. But it's okay. Rae, everything is okay."

"Okay? How is it okay? Your dead. I can't see you or touch you or tell you-" I'm getting hysterical now, "-tell you how much I love you. This, this is a dream, this means nothing. Some people say that we'll see each other again when I die, but I'm going to Hell when I die, I know it.

"Why would you say that? You're not going to Hell."

"I'm half demon, I'm going to Hell."

"Who your parents are don't decide your whole fate. Look at me, my parents were scientists and I became a superhero-"

"And look where it got you, YOU'RE DEAD!"

"Raven! Yes, I'm dead, stop dwelling on that. It's okay. Everything will be okay, just listen to me, okay?"

"No, you listen to me first. I'm numb inside most of the time. When I'm not numb, I feel so much pain but you know what, I'd rather feel Pain that nothing at all*. I hate everything about you,why do I love you*. Everyone says its not too late to pick or the pieces of my life, it's not to late, it's never to late*, but you know what it is! I have to keep my Eyes Open* all the time to make sure I don't be lost. In another life, I would be your girl, we'd keep all the promises, it be us against the world. In another life, I would make you stay, so I don't have to say you were the one that got away*. It feels like you chewed me up and spit me up like I was poison in your mouth. You took my life, you drained down, but that was then and this is now*. I feel like a candle in a hurricane, like a picture with a broken frame, alone and helpless like I lost my fight but everyone says I'll be alright, I'll be alright*. I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me. I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out. I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me. There are days every now and again, I pretend I'm okay, but that's not what gets me. What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away. And never knowing what could have been and not seeing that loving you. Is what I was trying to do*. You know what, Here Comes Goodbye* . I can't take it anymore. I just can't." If I hadn't broken down before, I was now.

"Rae, I know. I do. But, don't live life in sadness. Live life, because it only take a second to live it no more. Promise me,Rae. Just do, trust me. Grow old and die as an old lady, surrounded by her family, her children. Promise me." I nodded. How could I not. He bent down and his lips brushed mine.

I opened my eyes to find myself back at the cemetery. My lips were still warm but I knew that they had never been kissed or touched. I was okay. The dream had actually made me feel better. I might be able to live a semi normal life. I still missed him so,so much but maybe, just maybe, he was still here with me. In fact, I know he is.

So,mi wanted to post this last night, but I ran out of time. The stars mean that I got the part from and song and the last part, the old lady part, I got from _Titanic. Hope you liked and rest in peace a cursed monkey _


	2. Chapter 2

Robin sat on the grass in front of Beast Boy's grave. He couldn't believe it had been two years since his death, but sure enough, it had been two years. He wasn't sure what had brought him. He normally avoided cemeteries. It brought up too much pain that he struggled to keep down. He only came for the funeral. But last year, after being so distressed, Raven had come here, and had come back to the tower healed. She wasn't in so much pain anymore. Maybe he though that the same could happen for him. He didn't know. He couldn't help but think about how unfair life was. He lost his parents, later on his adopted father, his adopted brother before that, and then, just two years ago, he lost his teammate- no, his brother.

"BB, man, I miss you. We've been cracking down on crime. There isn't a lot of crime anymore. The team is doing good. We all wish you were here. Everyone does. Starfire has gotten better at telling jokes. When we are down, she tells a joke she thinks you would like. That gets us all laughing...BB, it's hard without you. I have to admit it. I lost my parents when I was young. I saw them fall to their deaths. Then, Bruce- Batman- he was killed by the Joker. That was after Jason died. Jason was the second Robin that worked with Batman. Then, you. To be honest, I don't know how much more I can handle. If I lose someone else, I'll go crazy. I hate to say it BB, but I'm on the edge." Robin wasn't sure now why he was spilling all his deepest secrets, but they all just came pouring out. Bye hung his head down, choking back tears. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Alright, I've lost my mind." He said once he saw that it was BB who had his hand on Robin's shoulder.

"No, man, I'm here. Don't believe me, the go ask Rae. I talked to her last year. She was having a hard time. I can see you are having a hard time, too.

"I guess there's no point in denying it. Yeah, it's hard. We miss you. You were are little brother. The one that made everyone laugh, even if it was because Raven hit you with something. Now, you're not there. It's... It's really hard. I've dealt with death before. Well, I push it down and take it out in training."

"I know. But the problem is, that's not really dealing with it. After my parents died, I started cracking jokes whenever it was uncomfortable. Then, jokes just became my thing. I never really dealt with my parents death. Neither have you. But we were lucky enough to find people that would love us like we were their own child. The Doom Patrol was my family. They couldn't replace my parents, but they were my family none the less. Like Batman was your dad even though he wasn't your father. And Jason... Well, I don't know that much about him, but you obviously cared for him."

"I was still mad at Bruce when he took Jason in. That made me madder. He replaced me- or that's how I though of it. But when I met Jason, he seemed so fragile. I suppose I was like that too. But he was trying to be tough. And that's what killed him. He though he was tougher than he was. And I couldn't stop it. That's what hurt the most. With Bruce, he was tough. He always had his walls up. But, when he adopted me, I saw his walls starting to come down. He cared for us. But he was a hero, and sooner or later, he was going to slip and get hurt...or killed. And that's exactly what happened."

"I didn't see my parents die. I didn't lose anyone else. You know why?... I wasn't strong enough. You are. It sucks, but you are the only one strong enough to deal with everything that's happened. You will learn and cope with death. You will be strong. It's as simple as that. You have the Titans, too. You guys will stick together and heal each other. That's why you guys are here. To help and heal."

"You know, when my parents fell, when I knew they were gone, I wasn't sad. It wasn't till people expected me to be sad that I was sad. Then, it became nature. To be sad about death. And I'll always miss you. But I do t want to be sad forever."

"So don't be. I don't want you to be either. Remember me for my jokes or something. Forget the sad, remember the happy. Promise me something. Promise me _To not live in sadness. To live life, because it can only take a second to live it no more._"

"I promise."


End file.
